Saturday, 13 August 2011

Dear Jane Austen Advice Column...

Dear Jane Austen Advice Column,

I'm Molly Gibson please and I am in need of some advice for I fear my heart shall break. I don't know what to say or do about this hateful - detestable news...Papa is going to be married again. And am I ever sorry for it! He tried to convince me it was for the best, he said I was to have a new mama and he a companion. But he does not understand, He had me. You don't know what we were to each other- at least, what he was to me. And the most painful part is I was sent out of the house that all this might be quietly arranged in my absence!

What am I to do? I did behave so badly to Papa this morning when he told me. Especially when he told me his choice of wife; a Mrs Kirkpatrick. Everyone thinks she was kind to me as a child - she let me sleep in her bed and then she forgot all about me. I don't think she cares about other people at all! I have been told that although this will be difficult, the more I try the happier I will become but I know that I shan't. It will be very dull when I shall have killed myself, as it were, and live only in trying to do, and be, as other people like. I don't see any end to it. I might as well never have lived. And as for happiness, well I feel I shall never be happy again.

What ever shall I do?

Molly Gibson.

My Dear Molly,

I make no apologies for my silence, because I know how little people think of letters and advice at such terrible times, though I doubt your day has been as hard as mine. My advice to you dear Molly is that you must not dwell on your own problems, for there are many people who have much worse problems. Take my poor self for example, I am so ill I can barely speak --or write for that matter. Oh, I do not think I ever was so ill in my life! And what is worse I still I have not seen a creature this whole morning.  Even though those at the great house all know I am gravely ill and very unfit to be left alone, I am sure.

On the subject of a new mother-- dear me, I know simply everything about it for I gained a most fearsome mother-in law on my marriage to Charles. Mrs Musgrove never gives me the precedence which is due to a woman such as me and she spoils my children excessively. It it no wonder that I am so ill all the time, with a mother-in-law such as this. So beware dear, do not let your father remarry.

Oh! I must go, Charles is out shooting- He would go, though I told him how ill I was. Unfeeling soul, and I suppose it did not suit for the Miss Musgroves to visit...Oh! and I assure you, I have not seen a soul this whole long morning, though they should know what is due to me. But it cannot hurt to take a walk, perhaps I may chance upon them.

Yours affectionately

Mary M---

I kept this letter open, that I might have something further to say upon the subject of your predicament. I have thought long and hard, and in the case that your father does remarry and you develop some terrible illness due to your new mama, which will most likely be the case, I entreat you to visit me. I have quite a lovely and rather comfortable sofa which when lying upon may help to ease your pain--- though I have not had any success with it, but that is simply because my sore throats, you know, are always worse than anyone's.


Miss Elizabeth Bennet said...

Could I post a link to this for the conclusion of Jane Austen Week?

Mel said...

I would be honored Miss Elizabeth. Thanks :)

OldFashionedCharm said...

Oh my! I can't believe it! I was seriously debating between Molly and Dr. Harrison before I wrote my Advice Column letters!
Your letters were quite delightful dear! Molly's voice is clearly heard and I love the photo you chose of her. Have you read Wives & Daughters?
Mary's letter is sheer brilliance, especially the very last part! This made me laugh so much! Despite all her complaining I can't help liking Mary Musgrove because she makes me laugh (also Anne loves her)!

~Miss Laurie :)

Mel said...

Miss Laurie, Thank you so much. Molly is such a gorgeous character she is one of my favourites so I can understand why you were debating whether to use her in your response.

I am so glad that you liked the last part. I thought maybe people would not understand it, so I am relieved and extremely happy to know it made you laugh!
Mary annoys me excessively (as you already know) but I love her too. Persuasion definitely would not be the same without her!


Mel said...

Miss Laurie: I just remembered that I forgot to answer your question, sorry. Yes I have read Wives and Daughters, It was lovely!


Melody said...

Haha! Love it. Delighted with all the quotes. :)

Maria Elisabeth said...

"My sore throats, you know are always worse than anyone's......."
Brilliant! Mary Musgrove is so silly and you've got her perfectly.

Jessica Claire Harper said...

How often do you post these Dear Jane Austen letters? My Language class teacher wants us to follow a one author blog or column. But it has to come out about once a month.